Things not to do in Rangers Apprentice
by rangergilan
Summary: short storied about the charecters, compleatly random
1. Chapter 1

Things you are not allowed to do in rangers apprentice

Well this is my first shot at comedy, so I hope you like it, if you have any more ideas tell me!

_**DON'T GIVE TUG CAKE**_

_Will strode out of the cabin with a big smile on his face. He had just finished celebrating his 2 birthday with Halt and he had never been happier. He made his way out of the house and into the little stable next to it._

_Tug and Abelard greeted him happily. "hey guys and how are you doing" he asked not expecting an answer. The two horses shook their heads. _

_Will noticed Tug staring at his cheek. He reached up and wiped the unknown substance off his face. _

_It was cake._

"_want some" he chuckled. His horse's eyes widened. _

_The young ranger took that as a yes. "ok I'll be right back" he promised his horse. _

_He quietly snuck into the house and cut a piece of cake. "what are you doing?" a voice asked and will jumped slightly. He looked around guiltily. "um, I was gonna give tug some cake" he admitted to Halt. _

_His teacher raised an eyebrow. "you know tug shouldn't have cake right, the horse will go crazy. And its worse for him than apples" Halt stated. "ok I won't" will agreed looking down. Halt turned and left without another word. If he had been paying attention, he would have seen the small smirk on wills face. _

_As soon as Halt left will took the cake and bolted out the door. He stopped running when he reached Tug's stall. "Ok I have some, you won't go crazy will you tug" Will questioned. Once again he didn't get an answer, so he gave tug the cake. The horse took the whole piece and chewed quickly._

_All of a sudden, tugs shoulder muscled tensed and relaxed multiple times. Just as will was walking out of the stable, tug bolted after him, nearly knocking his owner over. _

"_tug" will yelled in protest as he was dragged by the horse. The horse moved over to the clearing in front of Halt's house and started to run in circled. Will was unsuccessfully trying to calm him down._

_The loud noise brought Halt out of his room. _

_Will looked desperately over to his master, asking if he would help. _

_Halt shrugged and replied, "you gave him the cake. He should calm down in a bit" and with that Halt went back inside leaving will to dodge tugs crazy run. _

_Only one thought went through the boys head the rest of the day, I will never give tug cake again. _

_**Don't tell Crowley your smarter than him**_

_Halt and Crowley were sitting facing each other at the commandant's desk. The two were silent just looking at each other. Finally halt broke the silence, "told you" he smirked at his friend. The two senior rangers had a bet. _

_Crowley didn't think will could out shoot one of the older rangers in Crowley inner circle (mentioned in book 1). Halt however thought Will was better, he did teach the boy after all. So halt and Crowley rounded up the contestants and pulled them to a practice ranger._

_(will was the only one that got dragged of course, being the apprentice). _

_After the two told will and Joshua (the other ranger) the rules of the match, they sat back and enjoyed the show. They were both extraordinary marksmen, and exceptionally fast. Surprisingly, Will turned out to be the winner._

_The two players shook hands and laughed. The group that had gathered seemed to be in shock that an apprentice beat a master, but they cheered Will on. _

_After a few minutes of cheering and teasing, the group dispersed. Halt beckoned Will over, "Boy that was great now get out of here" he ordered. Will looked surprised at the order he was given, but beamed at the rare compliment._

_He didn't know however that it was just because Halt had one his bet._

_If he didn't Halt would have stated how will needed to practice more, and that the other ranger had let him win (which rangers would never do). _

_Will quickly left after that, leaving the two friends alone. After will disappeared from sight, Crowley and Halt made their way to his office. _

_This leaves us where we started._

"_Told you he would win" Halt said with a smirk on his face. "I can't believe it" Crowley said in bewilderment, "Josh is one of the best archers I know" he stated._

"_Wills getting good, it is his fourth year after all" Halt informed him. _

_Crowley just nodded his head, then shook it. _

"_why do I ever bet against you, you always seem to be one step ahead of me" the commandant told his friend. "of course Crowley I am smarter than you after all" Halt knew this was dangerous ground to be walking on._

_Crowley didn't like people telling him they were smarter. But Halt had been hoping to get a reaction out of his old friend. _

_The gathering was almost coming to an end and even Halt got bored after all. _

"_what you are not smarter than me" Crowley said in fake anger (Halt didn't know the fake part thought). Crowley was an excellent actor as well as ranger, so was able to see what Halt was doing and play along. _

_If Halt wanted a game, it was on. _

"_and I can prove it" Crowley couldn't hide the small smirk that came to his face. Suddenly Halt seemed to realize what Crowley had in mind. "no Crowley that's quiet alright" he said holding his hands up in a sign of piece_

_. It was in vain though because Crowley continued on. _

"_for example I bet you don't know the formula for water, which is H2O by the way. Also that the sticky stuff on a frog isn't slime, its mucus. And that the square root of 22,939,809,000 is 151,458.935(an: yes I got that off google)" _

_Crowley continued to ramble on about random facts. _

"_uh ok Crowley" Halt said slowly inching toward the door. Crowley however caught on to what halt was doing. With a triumphant smirk he let Halt go, much to the other rangers relief. _

_Oh ya, Crowley thought, I'm smarter than everyone. _

Ok soooo yaaaaaaaaa. For the record rangers are a lot smarter than that

_**Don't challenge Horace to an eating contest**_

_Two young man quietly made their way into the bar located just outside Redmont castle. Will took the seat pressed against the wall and his companion Horace sat in front of him. The two young heroes had just gotten back from Skandia and finally the chaos had begun to die down._

_Halt was finished with his banishment from going after will and Horace had gotten settled into the life of a fully fledged knight._

_So the two came to the average in they currently sat in on the east side of Redmont. A young serving girl approached the table, "can I get you anything my lord" the shy girl asked. _

_Everyone in Redmont, Heck the whole country had heard of the heroics these two accomplished._

"_whats the special" Horace asked the girl. "roast duck today my lord, but it mighty big and you're the only ones here" she stated. _

_Obviously, will thought, she didn't know Horace. But will was bored and he was going to have some fun with his bigger friend. _

"_ya horace" will said in a whiny voice, "you will never be able to finish it all" he challenged._

_3..2..1._

_he and Horace shared at glance. The knight seemed to get what the ranger was doing._

_challenge accepted, his eyes seemed to say. _

"_yes I could, after all will a growing boy needs to eat" he said in the same voice as wills earlier._

"_yes of course my lord ill go get it" the young waitress quickly made her way back to the kitchen. "your going to grow horizontally if you keep eating like that" will told his friend. _

"_ya you just wait and see" Horace murmured._

_Will just smirked and took a sip of his drink. _

_The two warriors sat in a comfortable silence until the waitress returned. She set down two monstrous plates in front of each person and quickly left. Horace turned to face his ranger friend again, "ruled of the game" he asked. _

_Will thought for a moment, "first on to finish the most first wins, no breaks and no water" he grinned. "your on" was all Horace said before he dug into his plate. Soon will followed his friends example. The duck meat was wonderful, practically falling off the bone. But neither tasted it in their rivalry. _

_Will looked onto horace's plate and saw he was losing badly._

_Then an evil idea popped into wills head. He noted that Horace was so wrapped up in eating he didn't notice will had stopped. Of course will would lose the game, but the end result would be funny. _

_Slowly will put down his duck and sat back in his chair watching Horace. After a few minutes Horace finished. When the knight looked up, will put his hand on his stomach and faked a small stomach ache. "well Horace I think you beat me we should probably get going now" the apprentice suggested. _

"_you do have to pack for castle Araluen tomorrow after all" will reminded his friend. "ya right" Horace mumbled while still swallowing the last of the duck. Will had to bite his lip to hide a smirk, Horace was going to feel so bad tomorrow._

_The two paid the waitress and walked to kicker and tug. Will shared a small smile with his horse when he saw his friend having trouble getting on his horse. _

_Later that night Horace was alone packing the rest of his things at the battleschool. He kept holding his stomach every few minutes. The duck he had at ewas starting to come back to him. Thinking that it would die down, Horace laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. _

_(the next morning)_

_Owwww, was all that seemed to go through he newly named knights mind._

_His stomach had rumbled most of the night and he had to sprint to get to the bathroom in time before it came up. _

_He made his way outside with his belonging to say goodbye to his friends. Will, halt, sir Rodney, alyss, and jenny had come to wish him well. _

_The small smirk on wills face would have normally made his suspicious, but with the contents of his stomach threatening to come up he ignored it. "bye Horace, have a nice time" will told his friend. _

_Before the contest last night the two had also discussed Horace's reassignment. The young knight was extremely happy about being made a knight of the country's capital. But also the chance to get to know the princess, Cassandra, was something he looked forward to._

_Horace just smiled and hugged will. "well boy do us a favor and don't get yourself killed" halt said gruffly. He thought he saw a hint of a smile come to halts face, but it was gone before he could confirm it. His goodbyes to the rest of the crowd were the same. _

_Jenny and Alyss hugged him and wished him well. Sir Rodney had told him how proud he was of the boy and walked him to kicker. _

_All of a sudden Horace lurched forward and vomit came out of his mouth. Kicker had been able to dodge the substance just in time. Behing him he heard will erupt in laughter. Sir Rodney helped him back up on his horse and sent him off. _

"_bye Horace, remember not to eat to much" he heard wills cheery voice fade into the distance. _

Ok so not that funny but a lot of stories, tell me what you think

"**there are no stupid questions, just stupid people" **

Review please.


	2. Imposter

**DON'T TELL HALT YOU THINK HE'S AN IMPOSTER**

Halt and Will were going out for yet another training session

. Will had officially been Halt's apprentice for a month and the older ranger had taken that as an excuse to torture Will with constant training.

He had roused will before the sun had risen and both of them had a hurried breakfast before Halt told Will to saddle Tug and the two rode out. "so what are we doing?" Will asked after a long silence. He knew not to question Halt when he was like this. The old ranger had hardly spoken a word to Will, well less than usual.

"well be tracking today" Halt replied after a long silence. "what's that" Halt suddenly asked.

"Rabbit" Will replied.

Halt looked at him.

Will took another look, "rabbits" he quickly corrected.

"good" Halt mumbled. Will nodded and fell silent. He scanned the ground around him looking at the tracks, waiting for Halt to start question him.

_Dear, rabbit, human, squirrel, wait what's that? _

"Halt" Will said. Halt swung down from his saddle and fell on one knee to inspect the track. "well this is certainly one I haven't shown you yet" Halt stated the obvious. "not many around here, but good to remember, take a look" Halt moved over to let his apprentice get a better look. "What is it" Will asked again. "Wild boar" the ranger said briefly. Will gasped in shock and looked around.

Boar were extremely dangerous, and wild ones were very unpredictable. "he's not here" Halt said. "you know that for a fact" Will shot back. Halt gave a mild glare to his apprentice. "yes, id the animal was anywhere near us the horses would have alerted us" Will replied with a small 'Oh'. The boy relaxed the death grip he had on his bow.

All of a sudden, a bush near the two moved ever so slightly. Will inspected the plant closer. He noticed that the wind wasn't blowing and it continued to move. Quickly he laid an arrow on the bowstring.

"Halt" he whispered quietly. His master looked around, his eyes finally resting on the bush will was gazing at. "I hope you're not going to shoot that poor farmer Will, I really don't want to do the paperwork" he said seriously. "no no don't shoot its me, me, me" the old man came out of the bushes in a rush, hands held high to ward off an attack.

After realizing the old farmer was no threat, Will rereleased the tension on the string and put the arrow back in his quiver. "How'd you know" Will question quietly. "saw him a while ago" Halt made no move to lower his voice.

"now why are you spying on us" the ranger turned his attention back to the farmer. The man still didn't take his eyes off Will's bow. "no not spying, never spying sir. I thought ye was that monster porker comin' back" he explained.

"You thought I was a boar" Halts eyebrows drew together while the man hid a smile. The farmer shook his head. "no not when I saw you, thought you might be soldiers or bandits" Halt sighed. "you from around here?" the ranger asked.

"nope, live in Willowtree Creek, I do sir" he replied, "been tracking tha' porker fer days" Halt looked mildly interested.

"you've seen it"

"yes sir, he's a bad un"

"certainly bid" Halt glanced back at the tracks.

"and evil sir" the farmer reminded Halt. "whats your name" Halt inquired. "names Salt Peter, over the fact that I likes a little salt on me meat sir" he jabbered. "I bet you do" Halt said absentmindedly. "has he been causing trouble" halt asked again. Salt Peter nodded.

"then we better be doing something about it" the ranger said under his breath. "Salt Peter I need you to take a message to the baron for me" the farmer nodded excitedly. "Baron Arald?" he asked. Halt sighed in annoyance, "Yes baron Arald. His castle is a few kilometers from here". "I've never seen a castle" peter said in an exited voice.

Halt sensed that this was going to be difficult.

"ok well go up to the gate guard and tell them you have a message from ranger Halt-" he was interrupted by peter. "Where's Halt" he asked. Halt gave him a glare. "Im Halt" he confirmed. "no you're not, Halt is 10 feet tall and as broad as three men. A giant! Fierce in battle he is, you can't be 'im" Peter would not give in. "I'm halt" the ranger replied as civil as he could, the old man was getting in his nerves.

"People shrink when they get old" he told the farmer. "if you say so.." peter trailed off, still not believing that the old, small man was the kingdoms greatest hero. Halt sighed again, making this on easily heard.

"still don't think your 'im" peter mumbled. Unfortunately for him Halt heard. Faster than lightning Halt had whipped out an arrow and aimed for Peter's shoulder.

The arrow went straight threw his clothes and pinned him to a tree. "common Will, we will find someone else" Halt left the clearing without another word. Will released the poor farmer from the tree and rushed to get back to Halt.

In the distance they could here a small, "bye Halt" came the cheerful voice of Salt Peter. Will turned his head to hide a grin. Halt looked like he wanted to scream.

Ok so this one was in the book, with a different ending

**When your right no one remembers, when your wrong no one forgets**


	3. Halt's beard

Never shave Halt's beard

Will was bored and he couldn't sleep, never a good sign. It was as simple as that. He had finished his chores around midday and was practicing with Halt the rest if the day. He had cooked both of them dinner and after while his master was scanning copies of reports Crowley had sent, shaking his head every few seconds. He was also muttering about "waste of time".

Will decided to ignore him; Halt wasn't going to tell him what the reports were about anyway.

The two rangers dined on a dinner of soup and bread that Will had bought from the market the previous day. Straight after the meal, Halt had disappeared into his room, claiming he was tired. Will got up to make some coffee and decided to give halt some to.

The young ranger quietly opened the door and walked over to Halt's bed. But seeing that the old(ish) ranger was sound asleep, Will backed out of the room, leaving the coffee on the dresser. If Halt woke up during the night he might want it.

(the next morning, castle Redmont)

Will was walking down the hallways of castle Redmont.

Why? He just finished going by to see alyss. He had been around the young courier a lot lately. He was beginning to think that he felt more for alyss just friendship. Did she feel the same way? Should he tell her?

He was brought out of his thought when a rather berserk Lady Pauline ran into Will.

The young ranger was able to stop her just in time before she ran full into him. "hello Lady Pauline. Can I help you with something?" he asked. "yes Will you must help me with something, its about Halt" Wills curiosity increased at the name of him master.

"yes what about" Will said thinking that something horribly must have happened. Pauline suddenly looked embarrassed. "Well its about his hair actually, I need you to help me with it" she informed him calmly. "his hair?" Will asked, extremely confused. "Will you must have noticed, its getting to long" she announced. "and what do you want me to do about it?"

"Cut it of course, you live with him, you can do it" she said. "why don't you just ask him to cut it? Why do you want it cut?" Will continued with his flow of questions.

"I already tried telling him, naturally he refused, the stubborn man. I want it cut because it looked gross. He never washes it, or combs it. Not how a ranger of Redmont should look" Pauline had other reasons for wanting to cut Halts hair of course, but she wasn't going to tell Will.

The young ranger nodded after her explanation. "alright I'll do it, but he'll probably kill me. It would be fun thought. How do you want it cut?" Will asked the courier. "I honestly don't care. Just make it shorter" she told him.

The two agreed and walked off.

(a few hours later) halts cabin

Once Will got back he rushed into him room. Luckily Halt wasn't there; he was busy getting more coffee at the market. Will quickly found a razor, a bucket for water, and towel. ( A/N I don't know if they have saving cream but its what I read in book 8).

The ranger put his equipment in the towel and hid it in his room. By the time he found the supplies and hid them so Halt wouldn't see, said ranger was walking up the stairs to the cabin. Will rushed into the kitchen and started to boil water. Halt came in and placed the sack on the counter. "making dinner?" he said stating the obvious. Will resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "yes halt it my turn right" he asked.

The older rangers only reply was a grunt. He quickly put together a soup and he and Halt sat down quietly. "Will?" Halt was (surprisingly) the first to break the silence. "Yes halt" will answered. Halt looked down at his soup for a few seconds before answering.

"Has Pauline talked to you about anything lately, concerning me" the old ranger asked. Will contemplated whether or not to tell him the truth. "Well um, yes she did in fact" Will decided to risk telling him, maybe he wouldn't have to shave halt tonight if he would do it on his own. Halt looked down again nervously.

_Wait that can't be right, halt nervous? _

"About what?" halt voice seemed to be getting smaller the longer the conversation lasted. Will took a deep breath before answering. "she was talking to me about your hair, she wanted you to cut it" he informed his mentor. Halt finally looked up and raised his eyebrow. "she wanted you to talk me into cutting my hair" he said obviously amused. "uh sure" Will was quick to jump at his suggestion.

Besides if he told Halt what exactly he was planning to do his friend would most likely kill him. Halt threw his head back and laughed.

A rare occurrence with the ranger.

"Not going to happen" Halt said at last. "Common Halt she'll get mad at me for not convincing you" he tried to say. But Halt was already shaking his head. With a final "no" halt stood up and left. But not before grabbing a cup of coffee from the counter (will had made some a few minutes ago).

Will sighed, _back to plan A. _the young ranger finished his coffee and placed to bowls on the counter. He slowly got up and made his way to his room, waiting for Halt to fall asleep. He waited for an hour before once again getting up and retrieving his supplies.

Quietly he walked into Halts room, taking extra care so the door would not creak. Earlier Will had to find some oil and take a bit of rust off the door. Halt would have noticed if all of the rust was gone, so he had to go a lot slower than he wanted. He crept into Halt room and approached the bed.

He shook Halt a little to make sure he wouldn't wake up.

_Flashback_

"_how am I gonna shave him while he is sleepling? He'll wake up if I touch him" Will told Pauline trying once again to talk her out of it. "relax Will just put on of these in his coffee before he goes to sleep" she said slipping a small pill into his hands._

_Will looked at the tiny object then back up at Pauline. "your kind of evil" he stated. She chuckled quietly. "Will you don't have to kiss him every day" she shot back. Will shuddered at the thought._

"_Fine I'll do it, but once again if he kills me its on your head" Will mumbled. The two walked away in different directions. _

_Will poured to coffee into two cups and pulled the small pill out of his pocket. With a sigh he dropped it into the right cup_

_End flashback_

Seeing that Halt was indeed passed out Will drew the first of his supplies, water. Gently he poured the water on halts chin and head and got to work. 20 minutes later he was done and retreated back to his own room.

After hiding the razor and towel he went to sleep.

The next day

"WILL GET OUT HERE!" said ranger was jolted out of his peaceful sleep by halt scream.

He pushed down his nervousness and got out of bed. He walked out of his room and in front of halt, who was standing in the kitchen with his arms crossed. "explain" he barked. Will took a good look at the elder ranger

. His beard was completely cut off and his hair had different lengths to it.

Uh oh will thought.

Seeing that halt was still glaring at him he hurried to answer. "Well Pauline said that she wanted you to cut your hair, so she asked me to get it done" Will explained. "she asked you to cut my hair" halt was definitely pissed now.

He took a threatening step towards Will.

The younger ranger jumped back.

"look Halt I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that" he motioned to Halts hair. But Halt just glared and grabbed Will's collar. He then dragged him all the way up to the cast and finally released him in Pauline's office. "you deal with him" Halt said, without another word he left.

after the door shut Pauline looked at Will, "not what I expected but at least it will get him to cut his hair" she said. Will just shrugged and sat down placing his chin in his hand.

_Well at least halt didn't kill me. __

**Friendships that have stood the test of time and chance are surely best, Brows may wrinkle, ****hair**** grow gray, Friendship never knows decay.****" **

**Me: ^ ****halt however is to mad at will to think of friendship, only revenge (hehehehe)**

**Will: crazy**

**Me :am not now quiet while I think of halts revenge**

**Will: (pales and runs away)**


	4. Mary sue vs fan girl

Heads up before you read this. i am sick, I can't breath and my head feels….funny

_Will: oh no what now?_

_Halt: I'm not sure, but this can't be good_

_Horace: what's a Mary- sue?_

_Halt: (sighs) again with the questions_

_Will: well do you know what they are_

_Halt: of course I do_

_Horace: what are they?_

_Halt: (doesn't answer)_

_Will: ya that's what I thought_

(a/n) I'm sorry I can't help it. It was the fastest on I could right. Beside we all like torturing the rangers right?

Chapter 6) DON'T LET MARY-SUES INTO RANGERS APPRENTICE

It was a dark and stormy night, and well our favorite healer/sorcerer was bored. So what does one do on a creepy night like this?

"I wonder how young Will is doing. I do start to miss the lad" Malcolm said softly. Things were getting busy in Norgate. The villagers were getting less suspicious of the forest. Malcom was getting concerned, he wondered if his forest was still safe. He decided to check with Orman to see if there was anything he could do. The healer had not seen Lord Orman since Will and Horace had returned to their fiefs. Healer's Clearing had gotten boring since the two had left, the skandians following soon after. A mischievous twinkle entered his eye, _I wonder what those boys are up to, maybe I could give them a little surprise. _He walked quickly back into the house to retrieve his "little surprise". He walked up to a chest in his rooms and pulled out a thick brown book. Very few people knew that Malcolm was indeed a sorcerer, even though he convinced others he wasn't. Malcolm wasn't evil, but he figured this spell could'nt do much harm. He smiled softly as he spoke the words, closed the book and stood up.

Will was riding on Tug towards the cabin he shared with Halt. Gilan had taken a break from his fief and decided to visit his old master and his apprentice. Will had hoped to beat Gilan to the cabin, so he could be there when Halt said hello. His master was always sarcastic when he first talked to the young ranger, but anyone could hear the affection when he spoke with his old charge.

Will was disappointed when he saw blaze standing next to Abelard as he entered the clearing where they lived. The two ranger horses said a soft greeting to Tug and went back to their oats. Will swung down off Tug and took the saddle off his horse. "Behave" he said to the three horses. He could swear they rolled their eyes at him as he left.

The apprentice quickly jogged up the steps and into the homely cabin. Halt and Gilan were already at the table sipping on coffee. "You couldn't wait for me" he said exasperated. "its your fault your late" Halt replied. He took another sip and turned around in his chair. "At least we saved some. Its good to see you Will" Gilan said cheerfully. He stood up to hug the apprentice. "Hey Gilan, how's the fief going?" He asked. "The usual, not very exciting. Figured I could spend some time away and come see you" He waved a hand over to Halt. "At least someone is happy to see me" he added as an afterthought. "I'd be more happy to see you if you could try _not _to be the most aggravating person on earth" he declared. Will and Gilan looked over to Halt. "What's his problem?" Gilan whispered. The other ranger shrugged. "Well now that were done with coffee, Who wants to go on a ride? Tug would love the chance to remind Blazes who's boss" Will teased. "Sounds good to me" Gilan replied. They heard a long sigh behind them as Halt stood up. "I might as well go, someone needs to make sure you two don't get yourselves in trouble". He walked out of the cabin before either ranger could reply.

Will, Gilan, and Halt were riding in the forest. They let the horses stretch out before they let them run. As expected Tug beat Blaze and Abelard. Halt looked up at the sun to see how much day light they had left. "we should head back, don't want to miss diner. Gilan you can stay with us tonight" Halt said. Will nodded and slid off Tug. "I'll let him run back" he told the others. Gilan and Halt soon followed suit. They walked back in silence. A crack behind them caught the rangers attention. They swiftly drew their bows and pointed at the bushes. "Come out now" Will yelled to the intruder.

A girl, about 13 years old stepped out before them. She looked at the three silently. Then suddenly she let out a LOUD shriek. "OMG WILLY" she squealed and ran to them. Will took a step back in shock, wondering how this person knew his name.

Halt stood still, studying the young girl. She was dressed strangely, and appeared to be very beautiful. His eyes widened as he realized what she was. "Will run" he called to his apprentice as he grabbed Gilan's arm and pushed him back, "you too, we need to get out of here". The three rangers took off. "Who is she?" Will questioned as they ran, he didn't know how this girl could be a threat. "Mary-sue…very dangerous…don't let her get you" he said tersely.

Will was suddenly thrown off balance as something caught his foot. Suddenly roped flew up around him and he was pulled into the air. The same happened to Halt and Gilan further down the trail. The rangers had been trapped in roped hung from the trees. The weird girl was approaching fast as the rangers struggled to free themselves. Will felt panicked as he saw the girl look at him. She was…creepy. Something about her seemed unusual t and odd to him. He also sensed slight mental problems when she called him "Willy". His stomage clenched as he felt his knives slip from the case(A?N I cant think of the right word) on to the ground.

The Mary-Sue ran up to Will and looked up at him hungrily. Hr tried to stand up in the ropes to get away. Absolute dread filled him as she stood them. Slowly, she reached up. "Hey you leave them alone, you evil deamon" someone screamed. Another girl stepped onto the track. This girl looked about 16 with brown hair and green eyes. She looked a lot more normal than the other stranger.

The fan girl raised her bow and aimed at the Mary-Sue's heart. She released and the Mary-sue fell to the ground with a piercing scream. All of a sudden, the Sue disappeared in a cloud of dust. The fan girl raced up to the roped trapping the young ranger's and cut them down. "Thank you my lady, we seem to be in your debt. Is there anything e can do to repay you" Gilan said (A/N I don't think he would usually say that, but I need it in the story). "Well you can kiss me" the girl said starring at Gilan. "What, no" the words exploded out of his mouth. "But I saved you, I get anything I want. That's how it works" She told him. Gilan stuttered for a few seconds. The girl raised her knife above her head, "fine then. I'll have you know that I have not been attending my anger management classes" she growled.

Horace has been out carrying massages to baron Arald from Sir Rodney. He led kicker up the path and stopped to take in the scenery. He had been busy latly with training and this new messenger job. He heard a commotion to his side and led kicker over. What he saw shocked him. Will, Halt, and Gilan were standing in a clearing, weaponless and horseless, with a furious looking girl above them. Will saw him standing behind te tree and his eyes lit up. "Horace help, Kill her" he yelled to the big warrior. Horace looked confused as he took in the situation. He didn't see this girl as much of a threat.

That thought changed as the odd looking girl turned to him and ran with her knife. Horace quickly drew his blade and disarmed her. He nicked her hand and pushed her away. The girl looked at him and back at the cut that was slowly bleeding. Without another sound the girl fell to her knees and disappeared into the wind.

Horace looked back to the rangers, "What was that?"

UGG. Ya not one of my best

_Dodges rotten fruit. Hey I'm sorry. Its all I got for now. _

_I promise I will not write any more mary sues._

_Gilan: well that was terrifying_

_Will and Horace: very_

_Me: …._


	5. Chapter 5

_Ok not really a funny one, but I loved writing about gilan and jenny's relationship. I so hope JF writes more about it in the royal ranger!_

7) DON'T STARTLE JENNY IN THE KITCHEN (OR GILAN REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOW BETTER)

Gilan leaned against the counter watching Jenny. After he had reported to the baron of the two thieves in the nearby village, he went straight to find Jenny. They hadn't seen each other in weeks as he now only came to Redmont fief when Will and Halt had to go off on some adventure, and all had been very peaceful in the world. He was kept busy when he came too, as many try to take advantage of the missing rangers. Gilan always got a satisfied thrill when he saw the looks on their unsuspecting faces as they encountered a possible more aggressive ranger.

He had taken care of today's issues and reported to the baron early. He raced to the castle, leaving blaze to graze on the healthy grass of the castle lawns. His long legs had taken him quickly from Baron Arald's office on the top floor of the tower down two floors to the kitchen. It was unusually quiet. When Master Chubb wasn't on duty most of the apprentices had the day off, with just a few head students left to keep everything running in his stead. Jenny was one of those students and Master Chubb had all but chained her in the kitchens.

Not that Jenny had minded at all, she loved to cook after all. But on the rare occasions Gilan came to the castle she wished to be near the handsome ranger instead of in the dark kitchens.

He slid through the kitchen doors quietly. The lock barely made a sound as it clicked shut. He stopped by the entry way and gazed around the room. Jenny was the only occupant of the room (besides him of course). She worked quietly; her back to Gilan and calmly stirring a pot of what Gilan guessed to be soup. The ranger pondered on whether or not to approach her. He had too many verbal beatings in the past to simply stride in and interrupt her work. He smiled slightly as he remembered some of those incidents.

Deciding quickly he stalked toward her. Jenny jumped when his hands came in contact with her upper arms and stopped her from flinging the pot into the air. She heard a low chuckle behind her.

"Gilan!" she hissed out at him.

He stepped back and looked at her innocently. The glare melted into a dazzling smile as she drew the young ranger into a hug.

"So I was thinking about dinner. You and me. I'll cook" his eyes sparkled, illuminating the dark kitchen (or it seemed that way to Jenny at least).

"You cook? That has me worried" she answered. Gilan's face turned indignant.

"I'll have you know ranger apprentices go through three weeks of food preparation courses, made BY Master Chubb" he retorted. Jenny often forgot Gilan grew up in Redmont too and as she ranted to him of Chubb's newest ideas he would just smile and nod along, like he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"We can go as soon as I finish this soup for the Baron" she said. Gilan nodded and resumed his former position. Jenny went back to working, though much quicker than before; throwing in spices and adding vegetables. She had zoned out to everything around her.

"Salt, salt, where's the salt?" came the mumbled question as she frantically searched. Gilan spotted it in an open cabinet a few feet away. He retrieved the small cylindrical object and walked toward the soup.

Jenny hadn't noticed Gilan move to the soup. She searched every inch of the table thinking maybe she had missed it. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted movement near her soup. Without thinking (because if she had been she would of known she risked her life doing this)- she brought her ladle down hard on the figures head. With a shout of pain the figure jumped back.

Jenny's eyes focused to see her ranger rubbing the sore spot on his head.

"Gilan!" she screamed in surprise, "I'm so sorry! I wasn't really thinking and I saw someone…well you know…its habit now-"

"Jenny it's ok, you didn't do that much damage" the man was chuckling with his hands in the air as if to show he was unarmed. The look of worry dropped off Jenny's face. She rolled her eyes. Gilan went back to rubbing the now red mark on his head. What he said next made both of them break out in fits of laughter.

"Now I know why Will flinches."

++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Later in Halt's cabin-Gilan's temporary living quarters- he and Jenny sat at the table. The young ranger had not given up on his teasing Jenny.

"Well you shouldn't blend in to the shadows; I could barely see where you were! You could have been an assassin trying to poison the baron for all I know!" she tried her best to save face.

"You think I would let an assassin get by me? No. I think you need some training on being more aware of your surroundings. It wouldn't do to hit the baron one night as he comes in to filch some of Chubbs cakes now would it?" he smiled again, and again Jenny rolled her eyes. Gilan clapped his hands together once.

"Now," he said, "lets dig in to MY delicious soup". The two enjoyed their dinner and when Halt and Will returned the next day Gilan ignored all questions about the bruise on his forehead.


End file.
